"There's evil, radio active energy channeling through my bra. Come Mamo-chan, and be one with the evil!" *clutches Mamoru's head to chest*

"I'm growing. I feel it in my pants."

"Can we have koala bears in Mexico?"

"Yo tengo 21 nenes en mi calcetines." Translation note: I have 21 babies in my socks.

"Happy, happy, lucky, lucky, monkey, monkey!""

"I just don't get it! Why won't she hear that kind of talk outside of a bed? *four hours later* They're girlfriends? Haruka and Michiru???"

"I have 24 people in my pants."

"What things I've seen.
What things I've done.
Are you for real or just a clone?
All these Goldfish look alike.
Pepperidge Farm should go on strike!" (song)

"My dog is a frog but sexually not."

"Just go and break my heart 'cuz I really gotta fart."

"I enjoy the molecular structure of diapers."

"My favorite color is clear."

"Anime crackers in my soup.
Usagi and Mamoru loop the loop.
Golly gee, how I have fun,
Swallowing anime one by one!"

"Jessica's been abducted and John, that cake you're eating is alien crap! AAAH!"

"She lives in an elephant. What does she do to enter and exit her house? Walk in through the trunk and leave through the ass?"

"I'm having a Sailor identity crisis. Leave me alone."

"That's sea slug sex! Let's rewind and watch that again..."

"Josh, stop touching the boys."

"Bill Gates is SO hot... *sizzle* *sizzle* Oh, baby!"

"This month is hot, semi-nude men of the Hawaiian islands month. YES!"

"Skateboarding, skateboarding
It's lots of fun.
You can ruin your shoe.
And the best part is, you don't have to run in the sun."

"I love yellow baby oil. It makes your legs so jiggley! Call me back and we can talk about our reli-gion!"

"Ask her any question. I swear, she'll answer with something about her uterus infection."

"They suck out our souls like camels."

"All join the cult of the rabid monkey"

"Lizzie McGuire fell into a giant coffee cup and crapped in her pants. It was bizarre."

"Quiero cocinar el esposo nuevo de mi tio Mario" Translation note: I want to cook my Uncle Mario's new spouse

"Our Thanksgiving is a little different. Instead of handing out early Christmas gifts, we hand out drugs."

"Don't disturb him. We already have enough disturbed people in this family."

"I LOVE global warming. I won't die 'til I learn about it."

"If you spike santa's cookies with heroin, you can club him to death and steal all the toys."

"I can do it! I can be famous! Hollywood lies in a little valley between my toes!"

"The 6 year old likes his pimpie look!"

"The mother claimed that one of her daughters was called fat, when she wore small clothes."

"I like dressing my children like pimps and hoochies."

"I just called you at 11:00pm because I remembered... 'Footloose' is by KENNY LOGGINS! I love Kenny!"

"Ugh, I hate how everything is becoming so politically correct! I can't even call him a bum anymore. He MUST be a freelance money collector."

"She has white breath."
"What? White breasts?" (over a bad phone connections)

"Who's yellow, absorbant and pore-ish as he?"

"Pardon her little exhibitionist problem. It's nothing to worry about."

"We're gonna have a passover soiree! Hopping to California in a brown potatoe sa-a-ack..."

"They're gonna look at her as their role model... god save the children!"

"I LOVE being a nudist and you can't stop me."

"Stop touching me with deformed shrimp!"

"Today on Jenny Jones, we have teens who aspire to be strippers."

"You're half the man you used to be since I circumsized ya...."
"Well, I guess you shouldn't have slipped!"

"It's the flying Dutchman!"

"Are you hungry for sex? Go eat a Snickers! Don't be makin' whoopie!"

"Dick Clark looks like a gnome."

"He's wearing arab headgear stuff."

"Sarah Jessica Parker is wearing a big black tutu! Only, its a tube top with fluffy stuff at the bottom and a huge Hawaiian flower in her hair! Her cheeks were set on fire and she's wearing orange pearls... ugh, ugh! Her teeth are red too!"

"Reading, writing and Ritalin--- I mean, 'rithmatic."

"You're such a like, compromiser-guy."

"We have an official class-nothing, -lawyer and -sleeping bag."

"Imagine, the little models walking down the runway wearing four-hundred-pound sweaters in the middle of California and falling off the catwalk!"

"Stop smelling Marth Stewart"

"Who's phallic? The phallic girl?"

"IF I have to hit you one more time, you won’t hit puberty until you’re 35!"

Me: “Have you heard ‘The Safety Dance’?”
A: “What safety dance?”
Me: “'THE Safety Dance’.”
A: “Huh? I don’t know of any safety dance…
Who does this so-called ‘Safety Dance’?”
Me: “Men Without Hats.”
A: “I’m sorry, I don’t know any men without hats.”

"Aren't the Monkee's from the 80's?"

"I felt so embarassed about buying wedding magazines at the news stand, that I had to make up for it by buying some porno."

"Gary, the cross-eyed bear..." is really "Gladly, the cross I'd bare."

"Ride the pony, Jake!"

"Let's go to an Incubus concert with a big incubator... they're the same thing, right?"

"Finger your parts but don't blow."

"Harry, are you taking off your pants for Senora?"

"You know why teachers won't let you use 'stuff' in your writing? Because it's a synonym for 'shit'."

Virus Momma: "I just got some nail laquer."
Missy A: "In other words, nail polish. Where'd ya get it?"
Virus Momma: "I went to the ghetto Walgreens today to buy some ghetto stuff."
Missy A: "What kinda ghetto stuff?"
Virus Momma: "Ghetto Creme Savers with the ghetto raspberry--"
Missy A: "Is it ghetto raspberry filled?"
Virus Momma: "No, you big patootie! It's a friggin' Cream Saver! *pauses* Ghetto Reisen; the ghetto carmel with ghetto chocolate stuff covering it, ghetto Whoppers for ghetto Luke who's ghettoly skating in on ghetto skateboard and talking about ghetto penises, two bags of ghetto white chocolate Flipz... this is for my ghetto class party tomorrow for all those non-ghetto preps that don't live in the 'hood, yo."
Missy A: "Ghetto fab, bay-bay!"

"Meet at the American Eagle at 3:00 PM or else we, Mr. and Mrs. Good-Fun will be your best friends for the day."
"What?! Mr. and Mrs. Good-Fuck? I'm confused..."

"Edgewood School's cutest couple: Alex Plotkin and his right hand... okay, they may not be cute but atleast they make each-other happy."

"Fork me harder!"

"Dude, the evil Spork of Darkness and Death is gonna get you. I swe-- did I just say 'dude'?"

"Don't. No, just don't. I mean, roaches are different than cockeroaches? Just stop, or you will meet your demise with the Red Pen of Evil Impending Doom."

"You said that."
"No I didn't. I'm not Lucy Liu. Oh wait... I did."
"Just having a minor identity crisis there, eh?"

"Okay, so maybe it DOES look like a duck with no eyes... but what am I to do about it?"

"Shoot the ponies? Panties? Beach towels? Titties of Tokyo? Rachel, I'm very scared. Have you been sleeping with your cousin again? Or maybe those generators in the park..."

"'Jack' is a Robin Williams movie! It has nothing to do with out lesson about immigrants!"
"But... I thought Jack was Polish."

"Iced ketchup, one dollar. Canabis t-shirt, ten dollars."

"Verbs. I'll do 'spank', just for Amy. Oh, Mad Libs are so fun!"

"Don't hate be because I like deranged Penguins!"

"The queen of England doesn't know her ABC's..."

"I'm telling you, Tohma and Quatre should get in a car accident and then Tohma will wake up with some weird clown-acrobat thing kissing him..."

"Is that what you do for shits and giggles? So thats what their family's like."

*looks at a picture of a semi-nude guy*
"That isn't anime, is it."